Art by Daik
Dear Yuki Nagato,
This is quite embarrassing for me to write this, considering the public nature of this letter’s publication, as well as the general concept of writing a Valentine’s day letter to a fictional character, but in the spirit of creative writing, I’ve decided to present my thoughts regarding love and Valentine’s day from my personal experiences through this form.
Simply put, I consider you to be my waifu. You embody many characteristics that I find ideal in a real girl, and that your mere existence and exceptionality as a character makes me watch with baited breath every time I see you on the screen in my numerous viewings of the Haruhi Suzumiya anime series. At the most fundamental levels, you motivate me to become a better person in real life, because I believe in the odd chance that I just might meet a girl who embodies similar characteristics as you.
I cannot love a cartoon, but I can appreciate characteristics that a character displays. What I love about you as a character, Yuki, is that you are simple in your approach to everyday life. I see you in the club room with Kyon and the others at the SOS Brigade, nearly invisible, often reading a book, but always observing everything. You’re not always noticed by them, but you’re always there. You always devote your time and efforts to your friends, Kyon especially.
Most of all, I love how the smallest gestures you make can have the hugest meaning behind them. As an individual that doesn’t do or say much, or show much emotion, those little things that you do, which you would normally hardly ever do, contrasts so much with your normal self that the contrast makes the action mean so much more, even if it were expressed in a straightforward way by other people.
In that regard, you remind me of a girl I used to date in University. She was quiet and kept to herself, even though she was probably more sociable than you were. She caught my eye, and even long after we started dating, her feelings about me were very tightly reserved. It would frustrate me sometimes, but whenever she showed the slightest bit of appreciation, or made some sort of gesture that would hint at what she was feeling inside, it was like I had been exposed to something way beyond what she showed at face value.
When I first told this girl I loved her, she said nothing at first. It was on a bus ride on the way home from an amusement park. I planned that day to be the day that I would drop the L-bomb. I spent all day so utterly frustrated by my inability to find the perfect moment to do so, that I simply gave up and told her at the last possible moment. She said nothing, but she held me right after, saying, “I am unable to say it, but I’m able to feel it. If you don’t hear me say it, just believe that I feel it.” Or something like that.
I believe that love can be felt, even though it might not be expressed. You remind me of her in so many ways that every day, I see a bit of her in you. I still miss her sometimes, but I can no longer have her. She’s gone. But I’m not saddened by it. The impossibility of getting back together with her due to her having disappeared completely from my life is no different from the impossibility of physically being with you due to the constraints of fictionalization and the barrier between spatial dimensions and mediums.
No, I’m not saddened by this. Instead, I live my life even more resolved. The mere fact that she existed in my life gives me hope that there is indeed someone out there capable of bringing out the best in me. I haven’t met her yet, but until the day I do, I’ll always have the idea in my mind that I have worth as a human being, and can live every single day with every ounce of burning energy that I channel from the infinite cosmos. Thanks to you, I feel like I can do the impossible. Thanks to you, I feel unstoppable. Thanks to you, I can finally move on.
At the end of the day, I still find the concept of having a waifu to be rather silly, but there’s still some genuine meaning behind it. I used to be dismissive about it when I heard about it on 4chan, but there was that moment when Kyon first walked into the literary club room, and saw a quiet unassuming girl reading a book, and it changed the way I looked at myself, probably for the better.
Since then, I’ve engaged in social activities with other like-minded individuals for the fun of it, including taking a picture of me spending time with you on Valentine’s day. I enjoyed last year with you as much as one would enjoy reading a book in front of a picture of a girl reading a book, but it’s all in good fun and good spirits. Unfortunately, Yuki, It is my deepest regret that I won’t be available tonight, as I will be watching a basketball game by myself, alone and single, on Valentine’s day.
And I won’t feel uncomfortable about it in the slightest bit. And it’s all thanks to you. Happy Valentine’s day, Yuki Nagato.
