As you’ll see by reading the dates in the second part of this series, it’s quite difficult to find someone who I hit it off with as much as Yayoi did. Will Hibiki unleash the animal in me? Will Takane reveal her mystery? Will Makoto get to be the girl she wants to be? Will I be able to keep up with Miki? Will the twins get a taste of their own double trouble medicine? You’ll have to read on to find out!
Part 1 can be found here.
Makoto is unquestionably the opposite of ladylike in her outward appearance and actions, but there’s a princess deep down that wishes to break free from her tomboy prison. She yearns to become the girl that she’s always seen herself as, even though it may not be as naturally her as she’d like to think. The personal struggle that she faces is something that I can understand, but at the end of the day, my personal struggle will be about whether I want to see her girly side, or embrace her natural bokukko nature.
As such, my date with Makoto begins with a makeover at the mall, followed by a round of glow-in-the-dark mini-golf. I let her run wild through a department store, and she models some skirts and dresses for me. She looks adorable, and she revels in the confidence that she exudes. She ends up picking something remarkably frilly, even for my tastes, but I let it slide.
We hit up the mini-putt course, and the front 9 is as textbook girly-girl as it gets. I stand behind her and teach her how to putt in the stereotypical manner that you see on TV, but the both of us seem to enjoy it anyway. She falls behind by a few strokes, but my hole-in-one on the 8th sets off the competitive spark in Makoto. She makes a late charge in the last 4 holes and beats me by 1. What happened to that girl who claimed to not even know how to hold a club properly? It’s a bit too fishy, if you ask me!
I would go out with Makoto again, but only if she drops the girly-girl act. I thought she was really cute during our date, but it came off as a bit too fake. I like girls who are honest with themselves. I’m all for pampering princess, but only if they truly are who they say they are. Personally, I prefer her more as a boy anyway. Isn’t it enough that she actually has a male fan for once?
Compatibility rating: 3/5
Ami and Mami Futami
Ami and Mami are a package. You don’t date one without the other. Or do you date them at the same time? I’m not exactly sure about this, but their inseparability is just as endearing as their tendency to play pranks with people, sometimes even complete strangers. Personally, I never saw myself as someone who could juggle multiple relationships at once. I’d need a bit of help managing the two of them, so a double-date will have to do.
Who better to be a wingman than the infamous bitmap? Good ol’ 8bmp owes me a favour for dumping the responsibilities onto me for this month’s Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya livewatch over skype with the SCCSAV, and even though he’s long since disappeared, I managed to guilt-trip him into going on a double-date with the Futami twins just once, for old times’ sake.
Plans for the double-date are pretty simple and straightforward: lunch at a family restaurant followed by a fun afternoon at an arcade. I sit beside the younger Ami, while bitmap obliges to keep the more mature Mami company. During the meal, everyone has pleasant conversation, but I splinter the banter and begin talking to Ami directly, delicately stroking her ego by complimenting her work with Ryugu Komachi. It works well, and she addresses herself in the third person while she goes on about how hard, yet rewarding being so popular is.
Before hitting up the arcade, the twins excuse themselves to go to the ladies room together, returning rather quickly. I try to separate Ami from Mami again, and I take her to a light-gun zombie-shooting game while Mami is occupied with a fighting game with bitmap. Alone, I manage to keep up with Ami, and she even addresses me as Kurizurii-niichan, which is remarkably adorable. Our teamwork in the zombie shooting game is enough to reach the final boss, but bitmap and his date approach us, letting us know that I’m actually playing with Mami, not Ami. Well, derp. I’m not actually surprised at this. We’ve been had, bitmap. We’ve been had.
I enjoyed my time with Mami and/or Ami. I can’t truly know who I was actually dating at the time, but as long as I only have to focus on one of them at a time, then it should be more than manageable. It might be difficult, though, since bitmap has since disappeared back into obscurity after the date. He does have this to say, however:
“Be it Ami or Mami, it was a fun date. Of course, I’m a bit angry that Ami (or was it Mami?) kicked my ass at every game I challenged her to. Unfortunately, I don’t think I would pursue any further dates; just one is a bit too energetic for me, and just thinking about the fact that they’re nigh-inseparable gives me a headache.”
You and me both, bitmap. Compatibility rating: 3/5 (from the both of us, for the both of them!)
Simply put, Miki Hoshii just doesn’t give a fuck, and fans from all over love her for it. She knows she’s talented and beautiful, and isn’t against coasting by on her natural talents and, er, endowments. She’s better than everyone, especially when she puts a reasonable amount of effort. She can do anything she wants if she put her mind to it. Such a strong girl is a quite a lot to keep up with, even if it means I just let her go about her thing. It’d be quite challenge to stay on the same page as her, since she’s mostly concerned with herself.
My date with Miki doesn’t start until well into the evening, since she ended up napping the entire afternoon and forgot to meet up with me during the day. It’s okay though, since I spend the day prepping myself for a date with The Miki Hoshii. We have a quaint little moonlight walk through the pier, where there’s not that many guys around to hit on her. I have her all to myself, and as self-serving as she can get sometimes, she’s fairly grounded in her expectations of both herself and her date. She oddly even asks me about what my ambitions are, and I let her know that I want to be a genre author. She smirks, saying that I would be a best-seller if I had an ounce of the confidence that she had. She’s right, and it gets to me for some reason.
She prods me onward to try and match her pace, taking me club-hopping. I offer to buy her a drink or two at each place, and even though she graciously accepts, she returns the favour with drinks, which for the most part, were offered to her by guys who wanted to pick her up. I’m glad she’s sticking around with me on this date, since a lot of the guys here are a lot more attractive than me. She says that she likes my sincerity, but has no qualms saying that I’m a total stick in the mud compared to her. I take offense, and buy a round of whiskeys for the both of us.
We keep drinking until the next morning, when we both inexplicably wake up at a nearby hotel. Apparently, I matched her shot for shot, though neither of us were too drunk to remember anything. I assure her that I wouldn’t have done anything to take advantage of her potentially vulnerable position, but she really doesn’t care, nor does she let it get to her; she is Miki Hoshii, after all.
Miki is actually a really fun girl to be around when she wants to do what she wants. She may not work hard at times, but she’ll play hard, and if anything, I can drink with her until the cows come home. As for relationship material, we’d be destined for the Friendzone, though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Compatibility rating: 2.5/5 (relationship), 4/5 (friendship)
Hibiki is relentlessly energetic and a friend to all living creatures, and is as loyal to people who are close to her as she is close to her own pets. You either have to go with the flow with her, or try to balance out that wild side, as well as helping her out whenever she gets into a situation involving a lost critter (or three). At first, I imagined that keeping up with Hibiki would be unmanageable, but as it turns out, a counterbalancing approach just might be the correct one if I want to successfully date my all-time favourite idol. It’s just a matter of not getting utterly star-struck.
For our date, I take her to one place that we would both enjoy: Sunshine International Aquarium. She gets to see some of her favourite aquatic creatures, and I get to make my pilgrimage to the fated place where important events in Mawaru Penguindrum occurred. Isn’t it electrifying?
The high elevation (situated at the 10th floor of the World Import Mart building) and the relatively small, yet compact nature of the place itself is the perfect place to slow things down with Hibiki. She slips into Okinawan dialect here and there when we talk, which I take as an indicator of her comfort level throughout the date. We take in a Seal talent show, but right before the program reaches its climax, Hibiki tugs at my shirt, hopelessly panicked due to having lost Hamuzou yet again. We spend the rest of the afternoon trying to find him, but it turns out he was in the gift shop all along. It’s an exhausting affair, but I’m glad I prepared a suitable survival strategy.
I am absolutely in love with Hibiki and her tireless energy. When I can bring it down to manageable levels, I see myself enjoying being around her, but I just don’t like animals that much. A dog or cat is fine, but having to deal with a hamster/flying squirrel/rabbit/snake/crocodile/flying spaghetti monster on a weekly basis would be a bit too much for me, on top of the energy that Hibiki brings. Our personalities are great together, but our lifestyles, not so much.
Compatibility rating: 2.5/5
Forget what I said about Chihaya being a mystery, Takane is mystery incarnate. Nobody knows much about her, yet she knows a lot about pretty much everything. Her musical ability is rivalled only by her elegance and majesty. Forget pampering a princess, Takane would be the queen if it weren’t for her random cloud cuckoolander moments. I have my own moments as well, but Takane is just far too out there for me to comprehend, let alone date.
Either way, I figure to take her some place cultured and International: what better place than the Tokyo International Film Festival? We both manage to get last-minute tickets to see a late-night screening of this year’s award-winner, Intouchables (thanks mostly to Takane’s mysterious connections). She is utterly riveted by Francois Cluzet’s protrayal of the paraplegic main character, Philippe, and is brought to tears at times throughout the movie. Having suggested the idea to her, she thanks me genuinely for the recommendation.
It’s already midnight, but she leads me around town long after the festivities die down. I don’t know what will happen next. She could take me to a 7-11, abduct me back to her home planet, or somewhere else. Instead, she settles for a quaint little ramen stand close to the river. The stand’s proprietor apparently knows her well, probably almost as much as her butler. He discloses plenty of juicy information about Takane and her past to me, and when I turn to her to verify some of his claims, she simply smiles politely as she always does.
What did she end up telling me? Well, that, my friends, is a secret. I won’t date her again, but I will certainly take my newfound knowledge to the grave. At least I owe her that much for being such an interesting person. Unfortunately, said fascination is but a one-way street. I’m too boring for her, and I’m fine with that.
Compatibility rating: 1.5/5
Ritsuko is a goddess with glasses, and I would not dare deem myself worthy enough to date her. She’s too good. Megane Complex EVERYWHERE, and I’m not afraid to admit it. My analysis here would be bias, so i shouldn’t even bother hypothesizing a date with her. I would fawn over her specs the entire time, and she would berate me for being a slacker. I’d enjoy it, but she wouldn’t. Poor Ritsuko. She deserves better.
Compatibility rating: 1/5
Having pre-written this pair of posts in the same day, I find it remarkable that I could write over 4,400 words about dating 2-dimensional characters. Such is the fascination with characters in fiction, or even the ideals of particular characterizations and storytelling memes. They are always larger than life, and had they existed in real life, they would be too out there for most normal people. There’s always one person for everyone, and for me, I was quite surprised that I rated Yayoi is my most compatible iDOLP@RTNER, and that Hibiki, my absolute favourite idol, was rated quite mediocre compared to other people.
Yukiho likewise was a shocker, due to her being my least favourite character, but she turned out to be the type of girl I would go for naturally. It’s so remarkable setting myself against the spectrum like that, it’s almost like looking at a horoscope with idols in place of constellations. It’s different for everyone, so I’m definitely interested in knowing what kind of girl would be your most compatible partner, even if it’s the one farthest from the top of your favourites list. Let me know in the comments, and thanks for reading this remarkably fun little project! Have a safe and wonderful new year.